The Talbot Street Showdown
'''The Talbot Street Showdown '''was a major skirmish between Gary Ahern's crew and the newly-formed Scobe Major Major Skanger Clan that occurred on 3 June 2019. Lead up to the Battle In the weeks leading up to the battle, a raucous crew of Skangers began terrorising Dublin City Center, skulking throughout the streets harassing passersby. They commonly asked for "fags", "ciggies" or "hash", and intimidated those that walked too closely by. Eventually, this group grew in size by a huge amount, crowding the streets of Dublin. Gary Ahern's attention was drawn to the phenomenon by Bertie Ahern, who was assaulted while busking of Grafton Street. Gary gathered a small crew of Hard Lads from across Ireland to confront Scobe Major Major, and their leader, Bushtar. Pre-Battle and Gary Ahern's Crew Gary gathered many people allied to The Mine Rob Craft Blox Boy's cause, even going so far as to call Kid Sketchy out of orbit around Pluto in Miguel's Space Shuttle. The Crew consisted of Bertie Ahern, Jakeus Lakeus (however Jakeus was unable to perform his Steampunch due to an unfortunate accident involving an airfix model of a T-34 tank, a small metal bathtub filled with bic pens and several thousand paper airplanes), EastWestKanye, Balbus Brownman, Miguel the Ungassable, BlueJayOnPcIn480p, several member of The IRA that had fallen in debt to Gary, and Gimble. Bertie gathered Jakeus, Balbus, BlueJay, EWK and met with Miguel in the north of the Theocracy of Trim. Miguel drove them to Cork in his Van where they met up with Gary, Gimble, his IRA lads and a few Farmers keen to hunt skangers. They were told the plan: for them to take Gary's Cessna, fly to Dublin, bail from the plane with parachutes and have it crash directly into the Skanger headquarters, the McDonalds on O'Connell Street, and hold off the Skangers long enough for Gary's reinforcements to arrive. The Battle The Boys were handed their parachutes, and taxied the plane from Cork to Bray, confusing many people on the roads while they drove. By the time they reached Bray, Gary was already about 3/4 of the way to Dublin. Rather than crashing the plane, Bertie flew to and landed on O'Connell Street. Bewildered Skangers approached the plane, only to be gunned down by the Boys within. They eventually bailed from the plane, and ran to Talbot street where Gary's Opel Corsa and several other cars, tractors and trucks were left haphazardly across the street. Gary's crew and the entire Scobe Major Major clan stood across from one another. Gary then opened to boot of the Corsa to reveal his most powerful asset, Gimble. Gimble stood up inside the boot, let out an extremely loud screech and hurled himself into the skangers. Gary's crew then charged at the Skangers. Gary and Bertie came face-to-face with Bushtar, who the wrestled into the boot of the Corsa. Bertie launched himself back into the fray, however Gary was taken unaware and tacked by Bushtar, who had used his Superhuley to escape the boot. He was raked by buckshot by Gary's farmer lads, however it seemed to have no affect on the Skanger king. Gary, in a last ditch effort, instigated a game of Bashkeevey. As the pair wrestled on the floor, the battle raged around them. Jakeus was perpetually under attack by bb-gun wielding Skangers, just out of his range. Bertie was cornered by Jimmy O'Callahan and Larry O'Toole, 2 high ranking Skangers. Despite being backed up by Miguel, he still had a tough time fighting both of them at once. Gary managed to get Bushtar in a headlock. He uttered the dreaded word, Uncle, and began dissolving, still within the headlock. As they saw their leader disintegrating before their eyes, the Skangers began deserting. After they had cleared off, they revealed the body of Gimble, savagely torn apart by Big Barry O'Sullavan, cousin of Jimmy O'Callahan. In a turn of events, Bushtar, his skeleton still somehow mobile, wrenched himself free from the Headlock. He rushed Miguel the Ungassable, grabbing his Fort-221 and firing it wildly behind him as he retreated. The Farmers and Bertie fired their shotguns and rifles at the fleeing skeleton, to no avail. Bertie and Miguel ran over to O'Connell street to the Cessna, only to find it clamped. BlueJay used his Lock-picking skills to open the clamp, and Bertie took off after Bushtar. They tailed him in the skies for about 6 hours. Low on fuel, they decided to crash the plane and, using the parachutes left in it from earlier, bailed. They landed about 15 meters in front of Bushtar. Bertie ran at him, jammed his shotgun up Bushtar's rib cage and fired, taking his head clean off. Post Battle All the men involved in the battle were pardoned by Michael D. Higgins. Gary was awarded a medal for his service, and had a statue of himself added to O'Connell street. Scobe Major Major was disbanded, and many of the Skangers involved in it became Crackheads. Category:Battles Category:Irish Category:Dublin Category:Skanger Battles